Developing Relational Skills

Glenn Davis

Glenn serves as Associational Mission Strategist, for the Heart of Kansas Southern Baptist Association. He has focused on several of the proficiencies DOMs should build as they work toward moving their Associations forward in God’s work.

In 2018, the Southern Baptist Conference of Associational Leaders met just prior to the Southern Baptist Convention in Dallas.  The SBCAL had put together a study team who brought a report to our meeting.  That report was a “fresh look at the time-honored work of associations within SBC life.”

One part of that report dealt with proficiencies which are needed by those of us serving in Associational Leadership positions.  The word Competencies has been used in the past.  This study team chose the word “Proficiencies”.

They broke those proficiencies into 3 categories: Foundational, Relational, and Strategic.  (More can be found on these proficiencies by looking for the Study Team Report at sbcal.org.  You can also watch for a new book on Southern Baptist Associations which is scheduled to be released this summer.)

I have been asked to write a series of articles to address the Relational Proficiency component for Missouri DOMs.

Before we jump into that topic, let’s try to put Relational Proficiency in its place.

Here is the way that I think about it.

Foundational Proficiencies

When I talk to a church about calling a pastor, I tell them that foundational is that selection process, there must be an assessment of character.  These are the character traits that we see in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1.

When I look at the Foundational Proficiencies component, I see a focus on Character and Calling.

Strategic Proficiencies

When I look at Strategic Proficiencies, I see a focus on Competencies.  What are the hard skills that are needed to do the work of the associational leader?

This includes skills such as preaching/teaching, seeing the vision and casting vision, and strategic leadership.

Relational Proficiencies
When I think about Relational Proficiencies, I think about the soft skills required to work well with people who are not obligated to work with us.

As associational leaders in Southern Baptist life, we do not operate with authority, but only with influence.

This role of associational leader is a unique leadership role, and I believe the uniqueness of the role calls for greater development of these relational skills.

As a local church pastor, I engaged those I led multiple times a week.  They would see me at meetings throughout the week.  They would see me in ministry settings such as hospital visits or counseling situations.  On Sunday morning, and throughout the week, they would see me preach the Word of God.  Preaching the Word of God in a way that recognizes the complexity and challenges of life builds high trust with those you lead.

But as an associational leader, I don’t see the people I lead every week.  I may not encounter them even once a month.

And, as an associational leader, my primary customers are not just people, they are pastors.  Influencing pastors is often more difficult than influencing people.

So, when you interact with the people you lead less often, and when you are leading leaders, relational proficiencies become even more important.

The third component involves the ability to understand and relate well to people.  These Relational Proficiencies include Emotional Intelligence, Active Listening, Supportive Coach, Authentically Vulnerable, and Vocal Encourager.  Competency in this area is needed if we are going to shepherd people well.  
We must love the people the Lord gives us to shepherd, but we must also act in ways that make them know that they are loved.  Paul told the Thessalonians that he cared for them like a nursing mother taking care of her child.  He related to them in a way that made them know that he cared.

In the articles that follow I want to address these Relational Proficiencies by considering five questions.

  1. How important are relational proficiencies?
  2. What does the Bible teach in regard to relational proficiencies?
  3. How can I evaluate my relational proficiencies?
  4. How can I develop my relational proficiencies?
  5. What are some things that undermine relational proficiencies?

Shooting for God’s Target

Brandon Moore, Church Revitalization Specialist, Missouri Baptist Convention

My son has come to love one of my favorite childhood movies: Robin Hood. The legend surrounding his feats of archery are amazing. He always hit his target! No one could top him, but imagine Robin Hood was traveling through the countryside and came across a barn painted with targets each with an arrow directly in the bullseye, some in nearly impossible spots to hit. Stunned by a possible rival archer present in the middle of nowhere, he asks a boy nearby who the archer was? Sheepishly, the boy responds, “It was me.” Now he had to see this kid in action. So the boy grabs his bow, fires his arrow, and—BAM—hits the side of the barn far away from any targets. Then he runs up to the barn, grabs some paint, and paints his target right around that latest arrow. Robin Hood would have been simultaneously disappointed and relieved that no true rival existed.

What does this story have to do with church revitalization and replanting? Quite simply, if we don’t identify God’s target for our churches, then we’ll have no real way to measure whether churches need revitalization or are experiencing true revitalization. We’ll jump from fad to fad wherever success seems to be, circle it, and declare that this must be revitalization. Churches can convince themselves to continue with ineffective ministries or assume they are OK because, as results change, they simply change the target. Thus, if we aren’t clear about the target, we can’t come alongside our churches to pursue revitalization/replanting.

Over the next several posts, we will talk about what the target is (see below), how the target fuels our pursuit of revitalization, and how to recognize and facilitate conversations with churches that are missing the target.

What’s the Target?

God has created His people with purposeful identities grounded on vital foundations and built through key structures. These will manifest in different ways in different contexts, but these identities, foundations, and structures are what define God’s creation of the church and the target for which we must aim in church revitalization/replanting. Below is a short summary (not intended to be an exhaustive list) of each core identity, foundation, and structure. Check out the summary and learn more about markers of these by checking out the Missouri Baptist Revitalization Network (MBRN) Health Survey. (click for attachment)

Healthy Identities

  • Worshipers
    • Local churches are created as worshipers of God to reflect His character, gather to worship Him together, and serve Him above all else. They must be centered upon Jesus and the Gospel in all they do, and they are to find their power in the Spirit.
    • Family
      • Local churches are created as family with one another. The community of believers is called to sacrificially love and serve one another, bear one another’s burdens, forgive one another, encourage one another, and even rebuke one another.
    • Missionaries
      • Local churches are created as missionaries to the world. Every church is called to make disciples faithfully and boldly in her local context and to partner in missions efforts to make disciples of all nations.

Healthy Foundations

  • Gospel
    • The good news about Jesus must be the center of every local church. Believing and applying the Gospel is our only hope for salvation and church revitalization. Churches must never move on from the Gospel but be saturated by it.
    • Scripture
      • Scripture is the inerrant, inspired Word of God. The Bible is the sufficient source for life and godliness as well as for the revitalization and replanting of churches. Thus, the faithful, clear preaching of God’s Word is essential.
    • Prayer
      • God intends to do greater works through us than Jesus did (John 14:12-14), and prayer is the primary means by which He keeps us reliant upon Him and enables us to do His works in power. The Spirit empowers revitalization through prayer.

Healthy Structures

  • Leadership
    • While every church member is a minister, God gifts the church with pastors as servant leaders who provide oversight of souls, sound preaching, godly examples, and overarching leadership and direction for the church. Also, God provides deacons as leading servants to care for the church’s unity and physical needs.
    • Membership
      • Every believer is called to covenant with a local church through membership in order to live out the one another commands of the New Testament, submit to specific pastors’ leadership, and be accountable to a particular congregation as they seek to persevere together in pursuing holiness and God’s mission.
    • Discipleship
      • From evangelizing the lost to building up the saints, churches are called to make disciples, and healthy churches will have intentional strategies and structures to involve people in discipleship no matter where they are on their spiritual journey.

Pathway Toward Revitalization

by John Vernon

As we consider revitalization of churches, one of the first questions we must address is how to determine if a church is in need of revitalization. Generally an outsider can see this much more clearly than a member of the church, given that local churches are autonomous congregations, the revitalization team comes alongside existing church leadership to determine the present state of the church. This will require church leaders to honestly assess the holistic state of the church and for the revitalization team to ask difficult questions.

The first meeting of the revitalization team and the church leadership will address the following topics:

  • Vision of MBC Revitalization Network (MBRN)
  • Initial Interview of Pastors and Leaders
  • Identify Church’s Stage in Its Lifecycle (see previous blog)
  • Decision regarding presenting to church a motion for beginning the Church Revitalization Explore Phase which is a series of assessments regarding leadership, the church, facilities, programs, and community around the church.

Share the MBRN Vision

  • Seeing that churches are in decline or have plateaued across our State;
  • Understanding the church has three fundamental identities: worshipers, family, missionaries;
  • We desire to glorify God by starting a movement of revitalized churches across Missouri.

The Initial Interview

Ask the following questions in order to determine the current state of the church:

1. What are you most excited about in your church?

2. What are you most concerned about in the life of your church?

3. What are the current obstacles your church is facing?

4. What are your core ministries? Why are these your core?

5. What is the average age of the community around the church?

6. Baptisms in past 10 years?

Identify Church’s Stage in Its Life Cycle

Explain the stages of a church’s life cycle, identifying key characteristics and ask “Where would you place your church on the Life Cycle of a Church graph?”

Decision

  1. Pray…for workers, that there is a positive attitude for the renewal of their first love.
  2. Present a motion to the church to vote to proceed to the first phase of the revitalization process which conducts the assessments; and, if there is a positive vote, then have the church vote to create a leadership team to work with the revitalization team.